Freedom
“For freedom Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.” Gal. 5:1
How to use these resources?
The resources below will give you what you need if you give them what they need: time. We recommend giving yourself an hour to go through the videos, articles, and documents. If you can't sit down for an hour today, make a plan to give 30 minutes for the next two days or 15 minutes for the next four days. It will be worth it.
While everyone's path to freedom is unique, there are four common elements involved in overcoming sins of lust:
Filtering software
Growth in self-knowledge
Balanced and disciplined plan of life
Accountability
See the resources below to help you put those elements into practice.
Filtering Software
Covenant Eyes
Covenant Eyes is the best app online for quitting porn. It works on computers, phones, and tablets. The app uses a filter to remove your access to pornographic content, and it can also send a report to your accountability partner. Those two features are a powerful combination to attain freedom.
We endorse Convenant Eyes above other forms of filtering and accountability.
However, if Covenant Eyes is not an option for you, there are alternatives for locking down your phone. This solution will limit what apps you can use and what websites you can view on your phone. This method will require a friend to insert a password.
Lock Down Your iPhone
Lock Down Your Android
2. Self Knowledge
With the filtering software in place, we can begin the interior work of growing in self-knowledge. The better we know ourselves, the better we will be able to break free of our attachment to lust.
Recognize Rituals
Fr. Sean Kilcawley describes the elements of a typical pattern or “ritual” of compulsive behavior. Knowing the elements and the pattern can help you to recognize your own rituals, which will allow you to break free.
Identify Triggers
Matt Fradd describes the “porn activation sequence,” which begins when we are triggered by some external stimulus. Removing triggers from our life and having an exit strategy for when we are triggered are essential for attaining freedom.
Trigger Assessment
Put what you learned in the previous two videos into practice with this trigger assessment form. It will help you identify what triggers you to look at porn and/or masturbate as well as come up with an exit strategy for when you are triggered.
3. Plan of Life
With growth in self-knowledge, we are better able to make a plan of life. When our day is full of genuine relationships, meaningful work, and authentic leisure, we are less attracted to the cheap thrills of lust.
Sobriety Plan
Fr. Sean Kilcawley describes how to implement a “sobriety plan” - a plan of life to help you attain freedom by removing triggers and including a healthy balance of friendship, exercise, and good leisure in your life.
Three Circles
Put what you learned in the previous video into practice with this form.
4. Accountability
Jesus called a group of 12 to be His apostles, and He sent them out two by two. Overcoming pornography is not a solo battle either. Think of the person you know that you can trust and ask them to help you in your struggle for freedom.
Once you have an accountability partner, have him or her also check out these resources:
Accountability Video
This video from Covenant Eyes describes the benefit of having an accountability partner in the struggle to overcome porn.
Iron Sharpens Iron
This article from Bobby Angel describes his need for an accountability partner to overcome porn, even when regularly going to Confession.
Accountability Contract
It often happens that well-intentioned friends fail to help in the pursuit of freedom because they lack concrete direction for how to be an accountability partner. Use this contract to make your accountability relationship as fruitful as possible.
Other Resources
With those elements in place, your path to freedom will begin to come into focus. If you need to confess these sins in the future, also tell the priest what steps you have taken to overcome them. That will help him give you better counsel.
Here are some other resources to help you in your journey:
Let's Talk About Porn with Fr. Greg - YouTube
Check out a comprehensive talk from Fr. Greg at St. Mary's in November 2019
Other interventions possible for overcoming pornography and masturbation if I am still stuck.
A 21-day detox from pornography for men. You will receive 21 emails in 21 days with 21 videos helping you to learn the dynamics of breaking free from addiction.
Covenant Eyes: 40 Day Challenge
A 40-day challenge for women and men to overcome pornography. You will receive 40 emails in 40 days with 40 videos helping you to learn the dynamics of breaking free from addiction.
Book by Kelsey Skoch with Everett Fritz for women that provides encouragement and practical strategies to overcome these and other addictions and temptations that keep women from living in freedom.
Education, training, encouragement, and resources to break free from pornography, heal relationships, and to assist parents in preventing and responding to pornography exposure.
Book by Matt Fradd that provides insightful arguments, including the latest scientific research, exposing the negative impact pornography has on our minds, our relationships, and our culture. It addresses the neurological reasons porn is addictive, helps individuals learn how to be free of porn, and offers real help to parents and the spouses of porn users.
College Station Sexaholics Anonymous
SA’s definition of sobriety is no sexual contact with anyone besides one’s spouse, including oneself, which is in accord with Catholic moral teaching. It follows the 12 step program and provides great support and accountability.
For more information: sabrazosvalley@gmail.com or call 252-678-5833
Meetings - Tuesday 7:45 pm